Just Can't Leave Things Unfixed
by sistokid
Summary: SLASH. It's been six years, and Logan finally musters up the courage to go back, and try to fix what he shattered. But six years is a long time, and he really doesn't deserve a second chance. Cargan, slight Kames. Oneshot.


**So is anyone going to Six Flags in NJ this Saturday for the BTR concert? I am, and I convinced my best friend, a twenty-two year old Marine who'd much rather be out drinking or getting action, to go with me. Because I am awesome, and he's totally my bitch.**

**Maybe I'll be dancing like a moron next to other Fan Fiction Slashers. That would be fun. Let me know if you're going to be there, yeah? Or don't, it's cool.**

**Anyway. This is something I wrote a while ago, but I like it better than the other random scraps I have in a folder. Or rather, I hate it much less.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, or the characters. This is based off of the television show, not the actual people/band.**

**Warnings: Perhaps just some cursing, but there's been worse on this site.**

**Flamers: You know what to do. Be gone. **

**Review if you'd like. [[Especially if you're going this Saturday; I'm super excited. Sort of. It hasn't quite hit me yet that I, a twenty-year-old tomboy who is in no other way girly, have tickets to a boy band concert. Whatever.]]**

**So. Have at it and junk.**

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><p>Logan took a deep breath, mustering up what little courage he had to lift his fist and rap gently on the dark green door before him. He waited a moment, and then another, and then what felt like twenty, but eventually, the door opened.<p>

What he saw behind the door made his heart stop.

A tiny girl, only about six or seven years old, blinked up at him curiously. He had never seen this little girl before, but he couldn't stop staring at her. She had long, dark brown hair that fell in loose curls all the way down her back, and very familiar looking eyes that he would recognize anywhere. The little girl looked exactly like Camille.

"Mommy, a weird guy's standing at the door," the little girl called into the large house behind her, still gripping the edge of the door cautiously. Logan continued to gaze at her, heart slowly shattering. His suspicions were confirmed when a _very_ familiar face walked up behind the little girl, smiling lovingly at her daughter before looking up to see who was there. Her face paled when she recognized Logan.

"Sweetie, why don't you go and set up your tea set, okay? I'll be there in a few minutes," Camille said calmly, not taking her eyes off of the man at her door. The little girl scurried off excitedly, and Camille stepped outside, closing the door securely behind her. Logan stared at her helplessly; she was still as beautiful as he remembered.

Before he could say anything, Camille reeled back her arm and punched him in the eye as hard as she could. Logan staggered backwards, clutching at his eye and gasping in pain. He pulled back his hand to check for blood, but it appeared that he would only get a black eye. A nasty one, by the way it already hurt. "Nice to see you, too," he muttered, which was probably the worst thing he could have said. Camille's eyes flashed and she took a menacing step forward. Logan tumbled back a few steps, knowing just how dangerous this girl could be.

"Don't. You. _Dare_. You absolute bastard."

"Look, Camille-"

"You _left me_!" she screeched, balling her fists at her sides. Logan winced, whimpering when the reflex made his eye pang. "You just- just- _left_! What the hell, Logan? You decided one day to just not be in Big Time Rush anymore? To just walk away from your friends? To..." Her voice cracked a little. "To just leave me?"

Logan cautiously approached her, feeling even worse than he had before he knocked on the door. "Camille, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you-"

"Shut up! Don't give me that, okay? You _knew_ it would hurt me; there was no way you could just walk away from an eighteen year old girl who was madly in love with you and not know it would hurt!"

Logan's heart sunk. "Was?"

Camille actually stopped her fuming for a moment. "What?"

"You... you said an eighteen year old girl who... who _was_ madly in love with me," he said softly, scanning her face with very little hope.

Camille scoffed. "Yeah, I did. Welcome to reality, Logan, where people get over assholes like you." Logan's face fell, and he looked down at his shoes. "Logan, you disappeared for six years. You couldn't seriously have expected me to wait for you." Logan shrugged. "Logan," Camille sighed, shifting her weight to one hip. "Look, I did love you. But you broke my heart, and so I moved on. I'm married now, and I'm in love with my husband, and I have a beautiful daughter who I wouldn't give up for the world. I'm sorry, Logan, but my life isn't yours to be in anymore."

It felt like someone had shoved a machete through his chest and twisted it. Deep down, Logan had known that Camille wouldn't wait her entire life for someone who just left without a care, but it still tore him apart to hear the rejection. He forced himself to nod, turning and walking haggardly down her front steps.

"Wait," Camille called out suddenly, and he knew that getting his hopes up was both pathetic and completely useless, but he couldn't help glancing over his shoulder. Camille stared at him, her gaze hard and… unloving. "I'm not the only one you left, you know."

Logan turned a little towards her, frowning. "Yeah, I know."

"I'm not the one who you hurt the most, either." He closed his eyes, knowing exactly whom she was talking about. "I mean, I was able to move on because we were just two eighteen year olds in puppy love." Logan opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it and bit at his lip. "But you broke three other hearts when you left, and I know for a fact that none of them have ever gotten over it," she added softly, looking him up and down once more before turning and walking back into her house, leaving a depressed twenty-four year old standing miserably in front of her steps.

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><p>He had already looked them up in a phonebook, but Logan just couldn't muster up the courage to go see them. James and Kendall were living in a large house just six streets from Camille's, and Logan's heart panged at the thought that those two were still friends and living together. He had to force himself not to think about how, if he had never left, he could be living happily with them right now.<p>

Logan stirred his cheap diner coffee as he thought about the third boy. Truth be told, he had no idea where Carlos was. He wasn't listed, and he hadn't dared ask Camille about it. He truly didn't deserve to know, but he still wanted to more than anything. He refused to think about it too much; the darker parts of his mind kept whispering things like _Carlos might be married,_ or _he might not even live in this state_, or the worst one, _what if he's dead_? Logan choked down his coffee and quickly threw a twenty on the table, giving the waitress, who really hadn't done much, an awfully nice tip.

He stood up, knowing exactly what he had to do. Although he really didn't want to face his past, he knew that the only way he'd find out about Carlos was if he visited his two other best friends.

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><p>It was a nice house, he noted. He had no idea what his two friends did career-wise, but the large blue ranch was quite lovely looking. He took a few shuttering breaths, having to force down what felt like vomit, and clamped his eyes shut as he walked up the pathway to the front door. He stood outside of it for a moment, wanting so desperately to just turn and run, but he reached out and used his entire palm to press the doorbell. The fancy white door opened just a second later, way too quickly for his liking.<p>

And there stood James. The tall brunette hadn't changed much, except that his hair was a little shorter and brushed off to one side, and he had black square glasses that fit his face well. Other than that, he looked exactly the same. James stared at him for a moment, not looking like he recognized him. "Can I help you?"

"Hi," Logan peeped out meekly, only managing a tiny smile.

He could pinpoint the exact second when James realized what he was looking at.

Logan knew he didn't look _that_ different. He didn't use gel anymore, so his hair grew into a boyish style that sort of flopped over his forehead. He had gotten his left ear pierced, and a shiny diamond currently sparkled in the lobe. A small silver ring was looped through the top part of his cartilage, and he had lost a considerable amount of weight over the years (which was saying something, because he had always been skinny to begin with).

James slammed the door in his face a millisecond later. Logan stared at the pretty white door, processing what just happened. He heard voices from behind it, and he could sort of tell that James was shouting, although he couldn't understand what he was saying. The door opened up again a moment later, but it wasn't James. Kendall stood there, looking exactly the same as he always had, gawking at the tiny boy at his door.

"Logie?" he croaked out, starting to tremble a little. Logan nodded fearfully; he prayed that Kendall wouldn't react like Camille and James had. But his fear was quickly replaced by surprise when Kendal stumbled forward and threw his arms around him, squeezing him in a shaking hug. Logan cautiously hugged back, but put a little more strength into it when he felt Kendall's tears soaking through his shirt. "You're back," Kendall whimpered into his shirt, slightly muffled by the fabric.

"I'm sorry," Logan said quietly, feeling honestly terrible for making Kendall like this. The Kendall he remembered didn't cry, but he had hurt him enough to make the poor guy break down as soon as he saw him.

Kendall eventually peeled himself away, immediately dragging the smaller boy into his home. Logan trailed nervously behind, glancing about for a particular brunette he knew would not be thrilled with him. "Kendall, maybe I shouldn't-"

"I don't want him in here," James said flatly, appearing in a doorway off to their right. Kendall stopped dragging Logan around, looking up at James.

"Jamie, don't be like this," he begged. "He's finally here, Jamie, all those years of never knowing what happened to him, thinking he could be dead, and he's finally _here-_"

"I don't want him here!" James snapped, storming over to Kendall. The blonde stood his ground, staring pleadingly at his friend. James melted just a little bit at Kendall's face, and reached out gently to brush away the remaining tears. "Kendall, he _left_ us. Without saying anything, without telling us goodbye... how can you just forget all of that? Do you remember what it was like for us? Because I sure do."

"James..."

James shook his head frantically, eyebrows scrunching as his eyes watered. "No, I remember! I remember how heartbroken we were, and how none of us even wanted to continue with life until we found him." James sniffled, a few tears streaming down his face. "We looked for him for _so long_." He turned sharply to Logan, jabbing him painfully in the chest with his fingers. "Do you even _know_ what you did to us? We looked for you for _four years_. We quit Big Time Rush right after you left, because everything in our lives was so unimportant compared to getting you back. Do you realize how much you hurt us? We thought you _died_, and you just show up on our doorstep six years later like nothing ever happened!"

"I'm so sorry, James-" Logan tried.

"No, no you're not! Because if you really _were_ sorry," James shouted, voice trembling and tears rolling freely now, "you would've come back a long time ago. But you didn't. And I... I _hate_ you, Logan." Logan had to stifle his own sob, unable to respond as James turned and bolted away, a door slamming somewhere seconds later.

Kendall didn't say anything for a few minutes, but finally lifted his hand towards Logan. Logan flinched, still tensed even when Kendall simply grasped at his upper arm and pulled him out into another room, where a small, squishy blue couch was located. The blonde sat himself down, tugging the smaller boy with him. "He doesn't hate you, you know," Kendall finally said. Logan couldn't speak. His throat was closed up tight with the threat of oncoming tears. "He loves you, and that's why it still hurts him."

"I saw Camille," Logan finally scratched out. Kendall bit his lip. "She doesn't love me anymore."

"I know."

Logan glanced over at Kendall helplessly. "Then how can James still love me? I... I hurt you guys so bad, and it took me so long just to come back..."

"Why did you leave?"

Logan stayed silent for a few minutes, shoulders shaking slightly. "I don't remember."

"Don't lie, Logie."

He closed his eyes, closing off the tears. "I was so confused," he whispered. "Being famous wasn't my dream, but that's the life I was living. And I didn't know how to handle Camille. I mean, I loved her, but I didn't know if I was _in_ love with her, and we were only eighteen, you know? And Hollywood... Hollywood changed us, Kendall. I _hated_ how it changed us."

"We didn't change that much, Logan."

"Yes we did!" Logan cried, sitting up straight to look at the other man. "We used to have a life where we _knew_ what we wanted, and we knew how things should turn out! And then we got caught up in this huge... _thing_... and I didn't even know what I wanted anymore!"

Kendall stayed silent for a while, eyes darting over Logan's face thoughtfully. "So you thought running away from it would fix everything?"

"I didn't know what else to do."

Kendall stood quickly, his rare temper slowly rising. "How about come and talk to your best friends? That's what people do! If you have a problem, or you can't figure out your life, you talk to the people who matter most to you! Or... did we not matter?" Kendall challenged, staring a trembling Logan down. Kendall could get scary when angry, because unlike most people, his furious rants were always _right_.

"Of course you did," Logan said softly, avoiding eye contact.

"Then why didn't you contact us? It took you six goddamn years just to man up and pay a visit?" Kendall stepped closer, towering over the cowering boy. "James wasn't wrong. We spent so long looking for you, thinking that the worst things might've happened, and it turns out that you were just _hiding_. Coward."

That stung worse than anything anyone had said to him so far. Mostly because it was so damn true. Logan swallowed heavily. "I know. You're right. And I'll leave and get out of this town, and you guys will never have to see me again. I promise I'll never even step foot in this state if you'll just tell me where Carlos is," he bargained quietly, hoping against hope that Kendall would be willing to take the trade.

But Kendall just stared at him. "You're leaving again?"

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Um, yeah. Everyone I know in this town hates me. But if you could just tell me where Carlos is... I swear I'll leave after I see him. I just... I need to see him," Logan pleaded, standing up to look at Kendall. The other man stared at him blankly for a moment, before reaching out and tugging him close, nearly strangling him in another hug.

"You're not leaving ever again, idiot," Kendall said roughly. He leaned his head back a little and kissed the top of Logan's head, squeezing his arms around the petite boy harder. "You just came back. If you leave now... please don't leave," Kendall asked quietly, mumbling into Logan's hair. Logan, for the first time that day, smiled a little.

* * *

><p>James finally made another appearance an hour later, finding Kendall and Logan sitting at the dining room table, sipping tea and talking about Logan's adventures. James's stare burned into Logan's skin, and he felt the slight happiness he had managed to scrape together quickly floating away.<p>

But within seconds, James absolutely collapsed, tripping over his own feet as he fell into Logan, hugging him tightly and struggling to breathe through his crying. "I missed you so much," he sobbed, pretty much climbing into Logan's lap and wrapping himself around him. "I don't hate you; please stay, okay?"

Logan closed his eyes, nodding because he didn't think he'd be able to speak properly. James clung tighter when he felt Logan's head move, and they stayed like that until Kendall gently ran a hand down James's back. The brunette slowly sat up, shifting off of Logan in favor of pulling a chair right up next to Kendall's, sitting so close that their knees pressed together.

Logan spent the next hour telling James and Kendall more about the last six years of his life, how he had gotten into a college in Arizona, and had gotten his bachelor's degree in medical practices. He was currently looking into good doctor schools, but had chosen to take a few years between to find those he left behind. If he didn't do it now, he probably would have never mustered up the guts.

After Logan had said all he could, Kendall and James just sat there silently, looking at him oddly. Logan began to fidget under their gazes, but the tiny smiles on their lips made it much less uncomfortable.

"Um, so, I was sort of hoping that maybe you guys might know what happened to Carlos," he finally said, almost immediately wishing he could take it back when their faces darkened.

"I don't think you should see him," Kendall said firmly, leaving very little room for question. But still, Logan had to know.

"I need to."

James leaned forward in his chair. "It's not that we don't want you to see him," he began awkwardly. "It's just... I don't know if you'd like what you'll find."

Logan's eyebrows scrunched together and he tilted his head. "What do you mean?" Kendall and James exchanged a glance, and it seemed to communicate an entire conversation. Logan's stomach twisted; he remembered when he used to be able to read their glances like that.

Finally, Kendall sighed heavily. "We'll let you see him. But only because we think he needs this. Way more than you ever could."

"What does that mean?" Logan asked defensively. He really had no idea what they were implying, but it didn't sound like it was in his favor. Kendall took a napkin out of the holder on the table, glancing to James. The brunette lifted his hip a little, digging in his back pocket and pulling out a pen. He handed it to Kendall, who began to scribble something down.

"Here's how you get to his house from here. It's not far, but Logan... just don't hurt him anymore, okay?" Kendall asked, although it sort of sounded more like an instruction. Logan nodded eagerly, grabbing the napkin from Kendall's outstretched hand and standing up. "You can stay here, if you'd like. It's a pretty big house, and if you're willing to split the bills with us, you can stay here with us," he offered seriously. Logan scanned his face, looking for any sign that Kendall didn't mean it. But, just as he remembered, Kendall stared right back at him, raw honesty practically painted on his face.

"Thanks guys. For everything," Logan said quietly, spending a minute to smile at them before hurrying through the house and out to his car.

* * *

><p>He pulled up to the house Kendall's map led him to. It was nothing like his two other friends' house; this one was small and sort of homey looking. It was nothing like the oversized, polished house he had just come from. But he slowly made his way up to the battered door, and after failing at calming his pounding heart, he knocked. A large tree covered part of the house, and Logan smiled softly at the homemade tire swing dangling from the lowest branch.<p>

He stood at the door for five minutes, and no one answered. He knocked again, but perhaps no one was even home. His face fell; he didn't know if he'd be able to scrap together enough courage to come here again.

"Logan!" He whirled around, instantly recognizing that voice. He glanced around for someone- anyone- but he didn't see any other person. "Logan, get back here!"

Logan was confused. It _sounded _like the boy he was looking for, but he couldn't see him anywhere.

"Logan, I swear if you don't get your furry butt over here, I'm gonna tie you up to the garage and have you sleep out here tonight!"

Okay, now Logan was slightly freaked out. Whoever was calling him gave the oddest threats, and it vaguely occurred to him that this mysterious voice wasn't talking to _him_.

He curiously walked around the side of the dusty house, glancing around nervously for any sign of anyone. He didn't want to seem like a creep, walking around some yard like he owned it, but he had to find the source of the voice that was only possibly yelling at him. He had just turned the corner when a gigantic brown _thing_ crashed into him, knocking him on his back. The thing landed right on top of him, and a large, dripping tongue ran up and down his face happily.

A massive German Sheppard was sitting on him, licking his face like they knew each other.

"Logan, where did you- oh! Oh, I'm so sorry, he's kind of stupid sometimes, did he hurt you?" The voice got really close, and the giant dog was quickly tugged off of Logan, who kept his eyes shut as he swabbed the dog spit off of his face. "I really am sorry, he's just- he just... oh..." The voice trailed off as Logan looked up, and his heart jumped straight into his throat.

Carlos was standing there, holding back the furry beast that was recently occupying Logan's torso. He looked… well, almost exactly how Logan remembered. Carlos's dark hair was a little on the long side, and his bangs curved softly over his forehead, and maybe he was just a tad bit skinnier than before, and a smudge of dirt was brushed over his cheek and nose. Logan quickly pushed himself to his feet, brushing himself off hastily.

He waited for Carlos to say something. But after standing there awkwardly for a good five or six minutes, panic began to sink in, and Logan twisted the hem of his shirt nervously. This wasn't how the others reacted. This was _worse_. He sort of wished Carlos would hit him, like Camille, or yell at him, like James. Or, a much preferred but unlikely option, that Carlos would hug him and tell him he missed him, like Kendall.

But he just _stood_ there.

Logan started shaking, feeling more and more nauseous as Carlos just stared at him blankly, not even blinking. The paler boy's body began quaking violently, and he collapsed to the ground, sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest and his fists stuffed against his eyes, trying so hard not to cry. But he let out a strangled cough, and the sobs came full force.

What made it worse was that Carlos was still staring at him, not a single emotion passing over his face.

This was not how Logan wanted this to go. He just wanted to see his best friend again, to apologize for the past six years and make the most amends that he could before heading off to look for more good graduate schools. Breaking down as soon as he saw him and turning into a shivering lump was _not_ part of the plan. Carlos staring at him as if he were some disfigured creature wasn't part of the plan either, and it tore at his heartstrings to feel the blank gaze on him.

All of a sudden, the giant dog tackled him once again, covering the curled up boy like a fluffy blanket. A tongue was licking at the top of his head, surely causing his hair to stand up oddly. Logan squeaked a little, trying to shove off the large dog and completely not succeeding. He kept heaving at the hyper mutt, eventually getting him to lie down across his lap. At least now, his head and face were safe from drool and suffocation by dog fur.

He soon saw why the dog was able to jump back on him. Carlos, too, had fallen to the ground, sitting on his butt with his legs bent up in front of him, fingers digging into the dirt beside him. And finally, _finally_, he had an emotion other than blankness on his face.

He was crying his heart out, looking at Logan through half-closed eyes, his chin and nose scrunched up and his upper teeth sunken into his bottom lip. Tears were dripping down his chin in constant streams, and as much as it sucked to see Carlos crying, it sort of gave Logan hope. Everyone who had cried today took him back into their lives, so maybe this meant that Carlos still loved him.

But, to Logan's alarm, Carlos tumbled onto his side, curling into the fetal position and covering his face with his sleeves, like he was trying to become small enough to sink into the dirt and disappear. Logan quickly wriggled out from under the dog, crawling over to the other man as quickly as he could. Once he reached him, he tried to pry Carlos's hands away from his face, but the other boy was being stubborn.

"C-Carlos, please..." Logan urged, heart shattering a little when Carlos shook his head hysterically. But Logan didn't give in that easily; he _couldn't_ give in, not after everything it took to get here. It had only taken him two years to sort himself out properly and figure out what he wanted to do with his life, but it took the other four years to work up the nerve to confront the people he loved, the people he left. So he yanked harder on Carlos's hands, managing to tear them a foot off of his face, and the two peered at each other, drops still rolling down both pairs of brown eyes. Carlos sniffled miserably before launching himself off of the ground, tackling the other man and landing on him heavily. For a breathless second, Logan thought Carlos was about to beat the crap out of him. It seemed plausible, and he definitely deserved it. But this was Carlos, and not a moment later, he realized that he was being squished into a crushing hug. Carlos clutched at him like he'd never let go, and Logan let out a whimper of relief. _Carlos didn't hate him_.

He inhaled sharply when he felt lips press to his forehead, and then quickly shifted to his cheek. Carlos began pressing chaste kisses all over his face and hair, pecking at any area he could reach. Logan laughed softly at the treatment, but stopped and nearly choked on air when Carlos lipped at his mouth in the process. He wasn't sure if it was intentional or not, but by the way Carlos continued kissing at his chin, ears, temples and nose, he figured it was an accident and let it go.

"Hi, Logie," Carlos finally murmured, pressing and holding his lips to Logan's forehead. Logan grinned, burying his head into Carlos's neck, just enjoying the fact that his best friend was here, and that he still cared about him.

They stayed curled like that, just hugging away on the ground, until the massive dog decided that he wanted in on the loving, and plopped down right on top of their legs. Carlos pushed himself up, twisting around to see the canine sprawled out over them, tail wagging happily. "Logan, you silly dog," he chided warmly. Logan raised his eyebrows, eyes widening as he realized what Carlos had done.

"You... you named your dog Logan?" he asked weakly, gripping Carlos's shirt tighter and drawing his attention. Carlos flushed and suddenly found the dirt below Logan immensely interesting.

"I... I named my first dog Logan," he replied, shifting hesitantly on Logan. "And- and I'm kind of really bad at thinking up pet names, so I just kept naming every pet I had Logan. And… yeah."

Logan nibbled at his bottom lip a little. "How many pets have you had?" Carlos promptly shoved his head into Logan's chest, letting out a muffled answer that Logan couldn't quite understand. "What?"

Carlos lifted his face a little, keeping his chin planted just above Logan's stomach. "Eleven."

"Y... you've named eleven pets after me?" Logan asked in shock, letting his hands slide up to rest on Carlos's shoulders. Carlos nodded, his chin poking into Logan's stomach a little. "Carlos, that's..."

"I know, I know, it's really creepy," Carlos suddenly blurted, looking almost like he was going to start crying again. "B-but after you l-left I was so sad and so James gave me a dog he found, and I named it after you, but then it got sick and died, so I got a hamster, and I named _that_ after you, too, and my pets kept dying and I kept getting more and I just couldn't stop naming them after you because-" He broke off, looking anywhere but Logan's eyes. "Because I missed you so much and I just wanted _something_, anything... I wanted to hug a Logan, and the one I really wanted wasn't there, so I kind of... made my own Logans."

The paler boy stared at him, dumbfounded. He had already known that Carlos would miss him; he wasn't being immodest, he just knew that, logically, his best friend in the world would be devastated when he left. But... to want him to come back so badly that he tried to make replacement Logans...

It was the saddest and sweetest thing he had ever heard. Granted, most people would be a _teeny_ bit freaked out by something like that, but Logan kind of thought it was the most amazing thing he had ever heard. He gently ran his hands from Carlos's shoulders into his dark hair, combing through the familiar strands. Carlos's worried look quickly vanished, and he turned his head to the side to rest more comfortably on Logan's chest, closing his eyes at the fingers carefully threading over his scalp. "I saw some other people today," Logan said quietly. "I went to Camille's first." Carlos tensed a little, and Logan paused for a second in his head massage. "She's over me," he added, although it was more to make himself believe it than to inform Carlos.

"I'm sorry," Carlos whispered, but for some reason, Logan questioned how sorry about that he was. He felt like it was more of an apology for Logan's broken heart.

"It's okay," Logan muttered, and he meant it. He knew what would happen between himself and Camille the second he got up and left, and he had suffered through the heartbreak ages ago. It still hurt, but he wasn't completely shattered over it. "Her daughter looks exactly like her," he commented, more to keep the conversation from being a complete misery fest than anything else. "Anyway, I also saw Kendall and James."

Carlos's head perked up. "How'd that go?"

"Kendall was great. James was too, after he yelled at me and told me he hated me. Don't look at me like that; I deserved it," Logan said, smiling slightly at Carlos's sympathetic frown. Carlos scrunched his nose, but didn't say anything and laid his head back down. Logan paused, not sure if it was okay or not to ask his next question. But it had been bugging him, and he knew Carlos wasn't one to take offense too easily. "So, um, Kendall and James live together, huh? It's a pretty spacious house, so… um, why don't you live there, too?"

Carlos didn't move for a few seconds, but then lifted his head to look at Logan oddly. "Wait, are you serious?"

Logan immediately felt bad; Carlos probably wasn't even friends with them anymore, or something like that. "I- I didn't mean to sound like a jerk, I just thought that, um, I mean I thought you guys still talked and stuff, and-"

"Logie, calm down," Carlos said, grinning. "We're friends. Actually, it was Kendall's ranch to begin with. He saved up all this money and bought it, thinking he and whatever wife he settled down with could live there happily."

"But... oh, was James just visiting?" Logan asked, trying to sort it out. Carlos shook his head, flushing a little.

"No, James lives there. He, uh... he kind of moved in without really asking Kendall. Not that Kendall minded. Actually, I think he really likes having James under the same roof. He hasn't been with any girls for like, four years."

"So why don't you live with them? I'm sure Kendall would love having his other best friend there, too," Logan suggested, because seriously, Kendall's house was so much nicer than Carlos's. The blush that had splotched up on Carlos's cheeks deepened.

"I don't want to be the third wheel."

Logan stared at him, eyes wide. "... _What_?"

"I can't believe you didn't notice. You said you were over there, right?"

"James and Kendall are... _together_?" Logan asked, baffled. Carlos quickly shook his head.

"No, no, they're not- no. Well. _Yet_."

"What!"

Carlos giggled. "James is in love with Kendall. And everyone except Kendall realizes it." Logan gawked at him, shocked into silence. Carlos smirked as Logan computed what he had just been told.

"J... James _told_ you this?"

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Obviously. He's been fighting his feelings for his best friend for years, and finally, like five years ago, he came to me and spilled everything. I'm not the one people usually confide in, but he didn't really have anyone else. Kendall's the advice giver, but he couldn't go to him, of course. And you..." Carlos immediately cut himself off, a look of guilt flashing over his face when he saw Logan's face fall. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that... oh, Logie, please don't be sad..."

"No, you're right." Logan let his head fall back onto the ground, removing his hands from Carlos's hair and covering his face with his palms. "I _wasn't_ there, and I'm the biggest jerk ever, and I don't deserve friends like you guys, and I can't even tell you how much it means that you're even _talking_ to me right now." Logan felt Carlos move around on top of him, and the next thing he knew, his hands were gently being peeled off of his face. He opened his eyes to find Carlos right above him, looking down at him with the smallest of smiles.

"Logan, I don't even know how to put into words how happy I am that you're here right now." Carlos beamed down at him, leaning down to kiss his forehead again. Logan smiled at the sweet gesture, giggling a little when Carlos slid his lips down to kiss between his eyebrows. He began laughing a little breathlessly when Carlos lifted his mouth and placed it on the bridge of Logan's nose, staying there for just a few seconds before moving down to the tip of his nose. He stayed there for a little, and when Logan's light laughter died down, he saw the unsure look in Carlos's eyes. He was only curious for a split second, until he realized the path Carlos was moving down. Logan's breath caught in his chest, and his heart seemed to double its speed in point oh-five seconds. Carlos swallowed nervously, before slipping his lips down the edge of Logan's nose, pressing a kiss to the space between his nostrils and lips. Logan held his breath, eyes wide and startled as he waited for what he knew would come next. His stomach fluttered as he felt Carlos trembling, and it felt like hours before he finally, slowly, shifted his mouth and pressed it to Logan's.

Carlos's eyes were mostly closed, but Logan could see that he was looking down at him, waiting for a reaction. Logan stared back, completely at a loss of what to do.

After a few frozen minutes, Carlos pulled back, and Logan felt horrible when he saw the other boy's eyes filling with tears. "Oh, damn- Carlos, please... don't- don't cry," he said, slowly shifting into a panic. But Carlos just shook his head, a few escapee tears splashing onto Logan's face. He started to clamber off of the other boy, using the backs of his hands to smack away his tears. "Wait- Carlos! No no no, don't go," Logan pleaded, grabbing at the other boy. Carlos evaded his grab attempts, except for one that clutched onto his wrist and refused to let go. Logan used his one-handed grip to tug Carlos back down, having some difficulty at first but using good old gravity to send the boy toppling back down onto him. As soon as he was in reach, Logan wrapped his arms around Carlos's waist and clung. He couldn't leave... Logan had _just fixed things_.

Logan had honestly just hugged Carlos to himself to keep the other boy from running away, but Carlos saw it as a cue that what he had just done was okay. Well, now that Logan thought it through, it kind of sort of was, in a really weird subconscious way.

Truth be told, this was _part_ of what he had to sort out six years ago. He had been eighteen, and in love with his on-again off-again girlfriend, Camille.

But he was also really, really, _really_ close with Carlos, and one day, a Palmwoods neighbor had asked him the question that sent his mind spiraling. _Are you and Carlos together? _Logan, of course, had laughed it off and replied with a firm 'no'. But the girl had persisted, pointing out way too many times when the two boys acted extraordinarily friendly towards each other, and her self proclaimed Never Wrong Gaydar had told her something was up.

It didn't really affect him until later that night; it stuck in his brain and made him think about it.

And, yes, after much evaluation, he and Carlos weren't exactly the most masculine friends ever, and perhaps they were really, weirdly touchy-feely.

And so, as Carlos lay above him, looking searchingly down into his best friend's face, Logan's gut twisted as he realized that he and Carlos acted very similarly to how James was around Kendall. And, apparently, James was head over heels for the blonde, so what did that say about him and Carlos?

When Carlos leaned his face a little closer, Logan gulped and squeezed his arms around his waist a little tighter. Even if Logan let Carlos do this, whatever this was, it was still nerve wracking. His entire body stiffened when Carlos hesitantly hovered his lips above his chin. Slowly, as if Logan could attack at any given second, Carlos settled his mouth on the other man's chin, letting his lips close when they were pressed fully to the skin. Logan's eyes shut and his breathing stuttered. Monitoring his friend's reactions closely, Carlos very carefully kissed every individual centimeter between Logan's chin and his bottom lip. He didn't pause this time when he finally made it up to Logan's mouth, and closed his lips around Logan's bottom one, sucking gently. Logan let out a shuddering breath before enclosing his own mouth around Carlos's upper lip, and he nearly fell to mush when Carlos began pressing into it.

It really felt like any other type of mouth, male or female. Logan had half expected himself to get grossed out because it would so obviously be a guy kissing him, but Carlos tasted just like any other pair of lips. Well, there was still something very _Carlos_ about him, but Logan could not honestly say that he minded.

There weren't fireworks, there were no electric shocks, and there was no music in the background. But Logan still felt like it was the greatest kiss he'd ever have, simply because he had Carlos in his arms and he could feel how much Carlos loved him through the simple connection of their mouths.

Carlos backed off for a moment, leaving Logan feeling sort of empty. But he rapidly crushed their mouths back together, slipping his tongue out to lick softly at Logan's mouth. The paler boy shakily gasped, letting Carlos slide his tongue in to graze against his own. Carlos let out a high-pitched moan, crawling his hands up to tangle in Logan's soft hair and wrapping his fingers in the strands. He used his grip as leverage to press harder into Logan, heart thumping as the boy beneath him began panting into his mouth. Logan dug his nails into Carlos's sides, feeling every inch of them that was pressed together tingling like crazy.

They broke apart after what felt like seconds, but had been quite a few minutes. Logan stared up at Carlos questioningly, and the other boy smiled shyly. "Sorry," Carlos whispered. "Logan's been licking at my leg for the past two minutes," Carlos explained. Logan stared at him. "My dog."

"That makes more sense," Logan replied quietly. "I didn't recall licking your leg," he smirked, tilting his head.

"It means he's hungry. I was going to give him lunch before... um, before you came." Carlos reluctantly rolled off of the other boy, pushing himself to his feet and was greeted instantly by an armful of excited dog. "All right, boy! Let's go get you some food," he told the furry beast, and Logan (the dog) barked happily and bolted off towards the front of the house. Carlos grinned as his fuzzy friend ran off, but he quickly remembered the boy still sprawled on the ground. He hastily shuffled over and offered Logan a hand, tugging him up to his feet. "So, um... I made macaroni and cheese." Logan looked at him blankly, not quite wanting to jump to the conclusion he immediately thought of. "I, uh, made a lot." A small grin quirked up the corners of Logan's mouth, and Carlos smiled brightly at him. "Want to come in for lunch?"

Logan nodded, taking a step closer. "I'd like that." Carlos grinned, turning and leading him around to the front steps, where he hesitated.

"Um, would you like to, you know, stay for a while? I mean, if you don't have somewhere else to go."

Logan bit his lower lip, holding back a smile. "I'd love that."

Carlos smiled wider, turning and opening the front door, bowing and gesturing for Logan to go first. The paler boy laughed and did some clumsy little curtsey, walking carefully into Carlos's house, turning to face the other man. Once the front door was closed behind them, Carlos kind of just stared at him and fiddled with the hem of his own shirt nervously, clearly thinking about something. Without warning, he stepped forward, placed his hands on Logan's cheeks, and pulled him into another kiss, walking him backwards until the paler boy's back pressed against the closest wall. Logan moaned softly and let his hands slink up to rest on the other boy's upper arms.

Carlos pulled back with a slight suctioning noise, looking Logan straight in the eyes. "Wanna live with me forever?"

Logan blinked, not expecting that. Or, at least, not expecting that so soon. But he slowly smiled, pulling Carlos back into a kiss. "Yeah. I love you," he said against Carlos's mouth, feeling more than seeing the answering grin.

"Took you long enough to figure that out," Carlos commented, laughing when Logan nipped at his lip. "I love you, too. Come on, let's go get some lunch, and then we can totally move into Kendall's house by force and bring Dog Logan and make James man up and confess his undying love to Kendall and then we'll all live happily ever after forever and ever."

Logan beamed. "Sounds perfect."


End file.
